On one particular night, before I got my pillow under my head, I heard a song from my next room. That was my favo, I did not know exactly for the title, but I remember for the lyric, “don’t you surrender coz you can win in this game called love…..”. That’s all 😛.

Well, before I went to sleep, I always thinking about why you were exist(?); why you always appear in my head(?); why it must be you(?); why it seems impossible to be with you(?); why God gave me a hunderd cc dopamin(?); how to say hello with you(?); how to have a nice conversation with you(?); ect. Yeah… I am not a young anymore, I felt shy, how’s too embarrassing for a mature women have a feeling like a twentieth.

Hhhmmm…If I were marriage five years ago, perhaps now I have a cute baby or maybe nope. I dont know. Than, I took deep breath… So deep, I do miss him so much. Suddenly, I grasped that unexpected things where always going to happen in life. I realized and control them after I had read a quotes from a bad people Adolf Hitler: “Think thousand times before taking a decision, but after taking the decision, never turn back even if you get thousand difficulties”. And I decided to keep my sweet memories and say goodbye and never turn back even if I do really want to come back.  So that’s why I need a big value for A, just gonna be P will become zero. Anyway, Paulo Coelho said “If you ‘re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello”.

Back to the song, that song told me that I can win in this game called loveee… So, don’t you surrender to find someone that we love each other. And now, I thought I am already to move on. And so, I’ll not depressed when I said I only have 120 days to look for a right man.

Well, when I used to dream of getting married, I imagined myself in a little house outside the lake, with a man quite who earned enough to support his family, one who hold his family to look at the window and watch the garden, one who teach his family how to life in the right path, one who wanna standing in the mountain and swimming in the sea..

And I am singing a song like this
Truly Madly Deeply…  [SAVAGE GARDEN]

I’ll be your dream, I’ll be your wish, I’ll be your fantasy.

I’ll be your hope, I’ll be your love, be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath, truly madly deeply do
I will be strong, I will be faithful ’cause I’m counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living. A deeper meaning.

I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me

Finally, I beg to Allah, I surrender for my old one. I am waiting for a new hello.

[Dedicated to my friends who still looking for a love]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Post Navigation